Starting Over

New Year, new ventures. In recent months, I faced a challenging decision: to leave the Manchester School of Arms, a community that had become a home away from home. It was a sacrifice for stability, but ever since there’s been a weird sword-shaped hole in my life. I do genuinely think it was the right decision, sometimes we have to let go of something and start over. But the months of house hunting and focussing on my day job have taken their toll.

I noticed there was a bit of a stiffness to my joints that I’m reluctant to attribute to my comfortable middle age. The ease of practice was gone, and with it, a certain spark that once ignited my passion for the art of swordsmanship. But with the new year unfolding, the hope of new ventures beckons, nudging me to re-evaluate my choices. There is an undeniable urge to reclaim that part of my life.

And it all starts with going back to basics, building foundations, getting back into a regular training regimen.

It’s been said (by others) that martial arts are like constructing a wall, brick by brick, and that you have to get it nice and stable before you can build it high. Of course that applies to almost anything worth doing in life, but it’s a useful metaphor. I have started my workouts again, tracking sets and reps, slowly rebuilding the ability I’ve lost over months of packing and unpacking boxes.

Here’s a neat discovery - it does not take as long as I’d supposed. A little effort, sustained regularly, will soon pay off. The body remembers! I am looking forward to having that consistency.

Next I need more fencing in my life, and I’m grateful to return to Tree of Shields as my local sparring club, an excellent and joyful bunch! I’m also hoping to support Swordpunk this year - it would be good to work with students again, and continue my quest to build a wholesome, supportive and sustainable community of like-minded fencers and swordlings. And so, one chapter of my life finally closes and another truly begins.

There is, in a way, a certain flow to it, and that is not without comfort. I had a sense that I was not who I imagined myself to be. But at the same time, something in me recognizes that everything is constantly being made new. Starting new ventures provides some sense of doer-ship and control over my life in the face of much uncertainty. Or maybe what I consider myself to be is but an ever-new expression of life. Life is always creating. Life is always starting over.

Sometimes, you just got to do new things with the old tools you already have.

New Things with Old Tools